That goes for both men and women – not just men. It is something that has interested – NO fascinated – me for quite a while.
My curiosity applies to both men and women – not just men!
FIRSTLY –I am told people (both men and women) hesitate to date someone with children because of the continual, and constant, scheduling problems with doing so. And there are heaps and heaps of concern about staying over – and as for weekends they are almost out of the question – depending to some extent on the kid’s ages and the particular custody agreement.
Someone a little older, say 45+ usually have more options because of the age factor. Speaking of the age factor, guys (25 to 35) in particular seem to be attracted more often than not to younger women who not only don’t have kids of their own but whom they can have their own children with. Understandable I suppose.
And, let’s be blunt here, guys (in particular) definitely don’t want to have to, financially support someone else’s child – and they do – even though the father of the child/children pays support.
Consciously, or unconsciously, often (both women and men) we allow our kids to keep us out of the dating world (sometimes forever)! Why? Because it is easier, more comfortable, life keeps just sliding along – that’s why.
All too easy to allow this to happen – I know because I have been putting off and putting off making the decision to date again – more than on a casual basis.
I hear myself saying to people things like “I owe this time to Alphie”, or “Alphie’s too young to cope”, etc etc etc. But I have woken up to myself recently and realise, for both our sakes (Alphie’s and mine) that I need to make the effort and FIND THE RIGHT BALANCE.
So what approach am I going to start taking – not so much about how to simply introduce new dates to Alphie but a lot broader approach than that. Thinking and planning now about my dating future.