Not to confuse my feelings totally with the thoughts expressed by Harriet Lerner in her book, “The Dance of Anger”, but its oh so important to me, and others, when we realise that someone out there really does think that the negative connotations relating to ‘Anger’ as an emotion, in the main, are false! This is good to discover.
Personally, I totally agree with Ms Lerner, I also think that often anger can be constructive – NO I am not crazy saying that, I happen to believe it.
After all it is an emotion we feel, some of us more often than others admittedly, so it cant possibly be wrong all the time – can it? It exists – it happens – for a reason. The emotion does not exist for no reason at all.
I get angry at my little boy sometimes – not for the fun of it – but for a reason. Maybe its because I need to learn something from what happens? It makes sense to me that I need to identify why I feel anger at times – and whether on occasions it is justified?
I think that often a feeling of anger can, and does, contain a warning. Its something we need to heed surely?
We all, one way or another, have a right to our emotions, ie to what we feel.
But we women have often been taught to suppress our anger or even to deny it entirely. My mother used to tell me that a woman shouldn’t usually display her anger – its definitely not ladylike! Wow – what rubbish. Mum meant well BUT……………
I don’t have much spare time, not nearly enough but I am going to find some somewhere, somehow, because I would like to give Lerner’s theory that much more thought to read her book.
I would suggest that increasingly these days, as social media grows and grows, and infiltrates more and more areas of our lives, that we need to study ANGER – and to seek to answer (for our own sakes) how often when we feel anger is it justified – or not!