Despite trying to organise a small pocket of time just for me, I’ve got nowhere. Something else always seems to get in the way, somebody or something is always stopping me. So what do you do, because I’ve come to realise that “Me Time” is crucial!
So decided to search in some new and creative ways. Where? Well via my new best buddy – the Internet of course!
Believe it or not, I have in the past taken some pretty desperate measures in order to grab some much needed “ME” time – for instance I have hidden myself away in the bathroom, taken a shower, snuck away to next doors garage. Desperate sounding isn’t it?
It actually took me a while to come to the realisation that taking ME time (away from and separately to Alphie) was not being selfish, it was farseeing and proactive. Everyone needs their space – some of us more than others of course – but everyone needs that space to feel whole.
Let’s face it there are times when single parents feel twice (or even three times) their age – its exhausting having someone depend on you for everything – ie you need to keep track of every single thing for your child. Don’t deny it its true – 100% true.
And I can tell you, as I’ve found out (and to some extent still are discovering some aspects) that to keep my physical, motivational, emotional and psychological energies firing, I sometimes have to force myself to take sections of “me time”.
Woe betide getting up any earlier than you already probably do, but to start with I found that was the only way I could achieve some little share of extra time. Yes actually get up earlier – that way you get a head start on finding your own quiet times. Its your time, not your child’s, keep that in mind and as hard as it is, POLICE THAT TIME!
Thinking back on ‘shower Time you should proactively use your ‘Shower Time” – plan it, use it creatively (including some of that revitalising aroma and/or therapy oils or shower gels). Try to let that water wash away some of your tensions. I know its hard, almost impossible to start with, BUT IT GETS EASIER – believe me.
I found some wonderful advice – GUESS WHERE – online of course, on a great website about single parenting. It suggested that you make a point of introducing “Quiet Time” if your kids are too old to nap but still young enough to keep demanding your attention.
A time when they are encouraged to either play, read quietly etc – start with say quarter of an hour, or 20 minutes then half an hour and work up to maybe 1 hour. I don’t think you can hope for any longer than that for littlies.
It will take some patience to get them started probably (or maybe they’ll take to it like a duck to water if you’re lucky) but you’ll most likely be amazed what you can accomplish especially if you tell them its what big kids do!
FINALLY what some of my friends say is impossible to do BUT its not! Taking one night a week off!
ITS IMPOSSIBLE – I can hear you saying – to take off at least one night per week – totally impossible. Its amazing, once you are desperate enough, what you can do, what you can organise. Its harder for some I know, you don’t have relatives nearby, you might not have a friend (at the moment) you trust enough to leave your child with. Well – there’s even a solution for that too!
What is that solution? Well, set as a goal to make some new friends, look at old friends and work towards creating situations. You, like me, may very well end up amazed at what people are keen to do, particularly if they like you.
Its not using people, if you are genuine and you need to be that, genuine that is. Make friends with the type of people you feel you may grow to like and trust. Keep in mind those people may have difficult and empty lives too. And like you need some time alone, some time for themselves, so are prepared TO TRADE with you – in other words you help them – then they help you. Everyone ends up happy –in other words you all end up in a WIN WIN situation!
Try it – after all you, like me, have got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Including some new friends, or renewed old ones. And those friends may get to feel they’ve done something really nice for someone!
And thinking of others, baby and kid-sitting trades is yet another way of building strong relationships with others – especially others in the same boat as yourself!