Whether we realise it or not we often have to deal with negative people and their influences on our ‘being’! Dealing with their negativity may very well involve dealing with our own negativity. I didn’t realise this until a psychologist friend pointed this out to me. Initially I disagreed as I feel I am a very positive person.
But what she had to say then made me stop and think. Negativity is a learned ability (I refer to it as an ability because it’s something we do, a limit we put on ourselves and how we assess ourselves).
We might very well say to ourselves that we will not let others moods bring us down, we won’t let their pessimism, anxiety and general sense of trust, influence us. We may very well insist that we won’t let it influence us. BUT often it does without our often even realising it.
Haven’t you ever had a relative, a friend or someone say to you about one of your dreams – “very few people become successful at that” or “that can be dangerous don’t take the risk”, or “that never works” and so on and so on – there’s many variations on that type of statement isn’t there?
There’s certainly a heap of negative judgments to battle against in our general lives.
Now I’m no expert, not a professional expert anyway, but at one time in my life I was an expert in allowing negative people to bring me down, influence me, making me extremely mistrustful of my own abilities and judgement. Those negative people, and their judgements, to a large extent paralysed me.
BUT how on earth do you pick up on what is happening? Pick up on it and then actually do something about it?
Start asking yourself questions for starters – for instance; “Am I usually under confident after being around that person?”, “Why am I starting to be mistrustful?”, “Why do I feel anxious all of a sudden?” or possibly “Why am I concerned about the judgement of this particular person?” – just a few of many!
I reckon “negativity” is one of the three most dangerous things that crop up in our lives – it’s a killer! A killer, isn’t it a little extreme to put it that way you could ask? NO – because it can kill peoples spirits, kill their dreams (and no one should ever do that) and actually kill some very promising futures.
And here’s a great question – something I used to be ‘expert’ at too – that is, letting Needy People into my life. Not that you stop letting all needy people in – because we do and should help people – big question being “How many needy people, and to what extent, do we let into our lives”.
Negativity – and what we do about it – is not only an absorbing subject but a critical one to have both a knowledge of and the ability to handle constructively!
Need to run now, Alphie needs me, will return to this subject later.
Think positive thoughts!